Listen to the soundtrack while reading this poem.

“Cry” by Cigarettes After Sex

Audio via YouTube

All rights belong to the original artist.

That Girl Who Never Existed

(at all)

2023.

She let you in again,

arms wide open.

But you hid her from your world —

like she didn’t exist at all.

Never existed at all…

She remembers when you asked her

to come over —

only when your family

wasn’t over.

They never knew her name.

Never knew you had her in your life.

Never knew there was someone who cared about their son —

who loved their son

like she could reach

the moon and stars.

Image from pinterest. / All rights belong to the original owner.

Nor your mates.

Your sister?

Your dear mum.

She knows they would’ve loved her.

They would’ve been proud,

grateful.

But you took that away
from her.

She wonders if you ever

talked about her.

If your eyes light up

when you say her name.
If you ever told them her favourite things:

The meal she made you.

Her white platform boots —

the ones you hated...

but still laughed at

when she wore them.

The way she giggled at little things.

The way she caressed you.

Held you with gentle hands.

Spoke to you softly.

Everything...

Your world never knew about her,

but hers knew all about you.

She spoke of you,

like you were her own moon

in her little world...

But you never did.

She trusted your timing —

until it never happened.

She was broken,

broken by the love,
she thought you had.

But your world kept spinning.

She’s always been that ghost 
in your own world,
that girl who has been destroyed 
silently…
by giving her own world 

Because she never existed at all...

But her love.